


I'm No Good Without You

by narumimakoto



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: But kind of, M/M, Not Really Character Death, and next door neighbors, au where saeran and yoosung are childhood friends, yoosung dies and is revived after saeran makes a deal with a demon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-02-13 21:26:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12992850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narumimakoto/pseuds/narumimakoto
Summary: How far would you go to save the one you love?





	1. Chapter 1

"And for your homework, I want you all to draw a picture of a place you dream of going someday. It can be somewhere you've already been and want to go back to or it can be somewhere you've only heard about. See you all tomorrow." Mrs. Kim, Yoosung and Saeran’s 5th grade teacher, told the class before dismissing. Saeran grabbed his backpack from the back of his chair and left the room quickly to go get his shoes and then head home.

"Saeran!" Yoosung's optimistic, and loud, voice rang throughout the hall as the blonde ran up to Saeran. "What are you going to draw?"

"I don't want to tell you." Saeran answered and kept on walking.

"Ah, come on. I'll tell you if you tell me! We could even help each other work on the drawings after we leave!" Yoosung skipped ahead and started walking backwards to face Saeran as he walked.

"A beach. I’m drawing a beach." Saeran sighed.

"Me too!" Yoosung smiled. "I love the beach. I've only been once before."

"I've never been." Saeran answered, walking up to his shelf and taking off the slippers and putting on his own shoes. Yoosung continued to talk as he took out his own shoes and put them on but Saeran tuned him out.

"Do you want to go somewhere? I've got some of my own money we could get something cheap to eat." Yoosung suggested as him and Saeran walked side by side out of the school.

"You don't have to waste your money on me. You paid the last time we went somewhere after school. I'll get it this time." Saeran let his backpack drape off of one shoulder and swung it around to look in the front pocket, then dug around for change.  _ Only enough for one of us to get something. _

 

* * *

 

 Saeran and Yoosung walked up to the register of a small convenient store and Saeran placed what he picked out on the counter.

"You aren't going to get anything?" Yoosung asked.

"I will. You go ahead and get that and find somewhere to sit outside." Saeran answered, handing over all the money he had on him.

Saeran walked around the store for a minute to waste time and then walked outside to meet Yoosung, taking a seat next to him on the fence of the park.

"You don't have anything." Yoosung frowned, pulling a chip out of the bag he grabbed and handing it to Saeran.

"It's in my backpack. Don't worry." Saeran grinned sheepishly.

"I couldn't find any  _ actual  _ place to sit. Do you want to go to another park?" Yoosung dumped the remaining chips into his mouth and crumpled the bag in his hand. 

"Why don't we just go back home? That way if these take awhile we won't be in a rush since I live next door." Saeran suggested.

"Sounds fun! Let's walk instead of getting a ride. Walking is always more fun." Yoosung laughed and started walking, pulling Saeran behind him.

"You said you've never been to the beach right?" Yoosung interrupted the silence that had formed between them. 

"Correct." Saeran answered.

"We should go together some day!" Yoosung closed his eyes. "It'd be really fun." Yoosung opened his eyes and turned to smile at Saeran whose face flushed bright red. "You blush so easily!"

"I do not!" Saeran protested.

"But you're doing it right now!" Yoosung laughed and dodged Saeran's hand that was trying to hit him in the head. "I do mean it though. We should go together."

Saeran stopped trying to hit him and smiled back at Yoosung. "It's a deal."

"You're blushing again."

"I'm trying to be nice! Shut up!" Saeran started chasing after Yoosung, continually trying to hit him again as they made their way to Yoosung’s house.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter takes place 7 years after the first
> 
> kinda graphic description of body horror in this chapter

"You should go to sleep otherwise you're going to wake up late and I'm going to have to be your alarm clock again." Yoosung yawned over the phone.

"Fine, fine." Saeran replied, attempting to force himself to feel the least bit tired.

"Why did you call me at 3 a.m.?" Yoosung asked, yawning again.

"It's nothing. I'll tell you tomorrow."

"Okay, goodnight Saeran." Yoosung replied, followed by the immediate sound of the dial tone.

"Goodnight Yoosung." Saeran said quietly to himself as he set his phone on his night stand.

 

* * *

 

"Saeraaaaan! We're going to be late!" Yoosung yelled up at Saeran's window from the street.

"Not  _ that _ late! 5 minutes isn't going to kill anyone!" Saeran yelled back out to Yoosung.

"You're going to get detention again!" Yoosung shouted. That was all the motivation Saeran needed to throw his school supplies into his bag and run downstairs, skipping the breakfast left for him on the counter by Saeyoung and meeting Yoosung outside.

"You forgot something." Yoosung giggled slightly and pointed to Saeran’s still bare feet. Saeran sighed and went back inside, put shoes on, and started in a sprint down the street.

"Wow, you should join the track team." Yoosung teased.

"Shut up." Saeran panted, stopping as they got to a train crossing with the bars down.

"Are we still going to Jeju this weekend?" Yoosung asked Saeran as he caught up to him.

"Why wouldn't we be?" Saeran asked, completely out of breath.

"You sound like you're going to pass out." Yoosung laughed, watching as the bars in front of the tracks lifted and Saeran began to walk across. Yoosung looked before stepping out seeing the light of the train coming down the tracks quickly.

"Saeran!" Yoosung screamed, pressing a hand to Saeran’s back and pushing him across, tripping on his own foot and falling forwards.

It was like a scene out of a horror movie. It happened so fast and the train kept going as if nothing had happened. Everyone else around was screaming, a few were on the phone, but Saeran couldn't hear anything, he couldn't see, he couldn't think.

Saeran crawled forwards, grabbing Yoosung and pulling him to the sidewalk. People rushed over to help but Saeran screamed at them to back off and pushed them all aside. "Yoo-Yoosung your arm." He stuttered, the reality of what had just happened becoming all the more clear as his best friend slowly bled out on his lap. "What, what do people normally do in a situation like this? A tourniquet? A tourniquet, where do I," Saeran stopped himself and pulled the belt out from around his waist and wrapped his tightly around what remained of Yoosung's arm in an attempt to stop the bleeding. Yoosung raised his hand again, weakly, and pressed it against Saeran’s chest.

"What," Yoosung was interrupted by a coughing fit and spitting out blood.

"Do-don't talk. Jus-just look at me." Saeran couldn't comprehend what was happening, none of it seemed real.

"Saeran. What were you going to tell me on the phone last night? You made it seem important." His words were slow and choppy, but Saeran clung onto every word.And before he could even answer, paramedics were there pulling Saeran away from Yoosung and loading Yoosung onto a gurney.

"No! I have to tell him! Let go of me!" Saeran kicked on the men, punched the other, and pulled his way out of the grip of the paramedics as they shut the doors to the ambulance. Saeran just let his legs give way and he fell on to pavement as he watched the ambulance drive off.

A million questions ran through his head.  _ What if I hadn't slept in? Would those 5 minutes have really made a difference? Why didn't I look before crossing? If I had he wouldn't have tried to push me. Why did he push me? He should've known he would've gotten hurt. Why? Why did this happen? We were supposed to go to the beach this weekend. I was supposed to have finally seen the ocean with him.  _ Every thought was suffocating him until everything finally went black.

 

* * *

 

Saeran woke up, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands.  _ A nightmare. That’s it.  _ Saeran stretched, his legs draping over the edge of his bed as he stared down at the the floor, his school uniform top in a wad next to his dresser. He picked it up to change back into it, seeing the blood stained across the front and the memories flooding back. Saeran threw it back down, doing his best to keep himself from breaking down again, but ultimately failing.

The rest of the day was spent with Saeran in his room screaming and crying at nothing, Saeyoung coming periodically to check on him, and Saeran searching online for something,  _ anything _ related to how to bring back the dead. He scrolled through countless ghost hunter blogs and supposed mediums who could speak to the dead for you. It was all bullshit and Saeran nearly gave up for that night until he came across a blog run by a girl who claimed to be able to summon any demon. Saeran thought himself nearly bat shit insane as he sat in his room, reciting chant after chant from some blog run by a teenager, until one of them actually worked.

Upon reciting the summoning chant for Masuta, the supposed commander of the dead, the world around Saeran went black.

When he regained consciousness, the room around him was dark, almost pitch black, and foggy. A woman who was white from head to toe and wearing a kitsune mask sat across from him, staring at him intently.

"You have summoned me. I am Masuta, commander of the dead. I am here to serve you. What is your name?" The mysterious woman, now known to be Masuta, asked Saeran.

"Saeran Choi." He answered, swallowing roughly.

"How may I be of service, Saeran?" Masuta stood up slowly, her bare feet making no noise as she walked towards him.

"Can you resurrect the dead?" Saeran asked shyly. Masuta circled around him slowly, stopping to lean in close to his ear.

"I can," she paused and whispered the next line. "With a price."

"I'll do anything." Saeran replied instantly, not having to think twice.

"This person must be important to you. If you're willing to do  _ anything _ ."

"He is… very important to me." Saeran sighed. "What is your price?"

"Before we discuss that, I must tell you what will happen if I were to revive the person so close to you." Masuta moved away from Saeran and stood in front of him, holding out one finger. "One, nobody will remember this person's death except for you. Everything will be normal for everyone else while you have to live with the memory of their demise."

"I don't care about that. Just bring him back." Saeran begged.

"I'm not done." Masuta growled. "Two, this person will also not remember you, but you will have all your memories of them." Saeran swore he felt his heart physically fall into his stomach.

"He won't remember me? At all?" Saeran asked.

"That is correct. Do you wish to make the deal?"

"Yes. Even if he won't remember me, I still want him back." Saeran agreed.

"Oh? Usually people back out of the deal when I explain that part." Masuta laughed.

"Then they weren't really willing to save them." Saeran answered and Masuta cocked her head to the side in confusion. "If they truly wanted them back, they would have agreed to anything."

Masuta moved to continue circling around Saeran again, observing him closer this time..

"You know what? I like you kid. I like the way you think. I'll hold your end of the deal off for now. But I will be back to see how things are going." She paused. "What is the name of the person you wish to bring back?"

"Yoosung Kim." Saeran nearly broke down in tears again from just saying his name.

"Yoosung Kim." Masuta closed her eyes for a moment. "It can be done. You will soon see me again, as for now, goodbye Saeran." Masuta placed her hand over Saeran’s eyes and his world faded to black once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this was originally a fic i wrote for mikayuu that i sent to the orphan account but i still really liked the story itself so i of course felt the need to begin rewriting it with my current hyperfixation


	3. Chapter 3

Saeran slowly faded back to consciousness once more, trying to determine if what had just happen had actually happened or if it was some delusion that had taken place due to lack of sleep and stress. He had no time to gather his thoughts completely before Saeyoung came barreling into his room and shouting at him.

“I’ve been calling your name for like 10 minutes! If you don’t leave now then you’re going to be late!” Saeyoung yelled, picking Saeran’s uniform up off the floor and tossing it to him. “I have to do this every day. When are you going to buy an alarm?” Saeyoung mumbled to himself as he shut the door to leave Saeran to get ready.

“Every day? What the fuck is he talking about? That’s Yoosun-“ Saeran cut himself off, attempting to hold back tears and the feeling of everything he ate yesterday coming back up. _Calm down, Saeran. Calm down. If Masuta was real, you can see him again._

Saeran pulled himself together and finished getting ready, rushing downstairs and once again ignoring the breakfast put there by Saeyoung to rush outside. Saeran ran the whole way to school, hoping he’d at least see Yoosung before he went into class.

 

* * *

 

“It’s no use.” Saeran mumbled to himself as he walked outside after walking through every hall at the end of the day, scanning every face and every classroom. “Why would I ever believe some ridiculous ass dream like that could really happened?”

He began the walk home, stopping halfway to rest in a park near the convenience store. Saeran got a bottle of strawberry milk from the vending machine and sat on the fence, watching the other people in the park. Most of them were high school age kids walking home, others were parents with small children or old people feeding whatever small animal walked by. Saeran continued scanning every face he could see, his eyes stopping on a blonde walking side by side with a red head. Saeran watched the two intently, memories of every time he walked home with Yoosung coming flooding back with how similar the pair walking seemed to Saeran and Yoosung.

_“I bought the snacks last time! It’s your turn!” Yoosung whined, tugging at Saeran’s sleeve._

_“Nope. I don’t have any money on me today.” Saeran shrugged. He glanced over at Yoosung who was giving him huge puppy eyes and quickly turned away._

_“Saeraaaaan!” Yoosung continued whining._

_Saeran sighed loudly, putting a hand on each side of his face and pouting. “I guess you just don’t like me enough to want to buy snacks for me.”_

_“You know that’s not true!” Yoosung hit Saeran in the arm. “And you sound just like Saeyoung!”_

_“Don’t say such a mean thing!” Saeran jabbed his fingers into Yoosung’s side, causing him to squeal and laugh uncontrollably._

_“Sa-Saeran, I can’t breathe!” Yoosung continued laughing as Saeran continued to tickle him._

_“Poor Yoosung. You’re so ticklish.” Saeran grinned. “I’ll stop if you buy the snacks today. I’ll get them next time.”_

_“Okay! Okay! I give!” Yoosung laughed breathlessly. Saeran let go of him and raised his hands in a victory pose. “You’re lucky I like you.”_

_Saeran’s face flushed red and he swore he could feel his heart in his throat._

“I can’t take this anymore.” Saeran sighed and threw the empty bottle across the street at the convenience store wall as hard as he could. He knelt down onto the ground, gripping the fence with his hands and resting his head against one of the bars. “It’s only been a single day and I miss you this much.”

Saeran had forgotten where he was and didn’t realize just how loud he was crying until someone came over to check on him.

“Hey.” The stranger rest a hand on Saeran’s back. “Are you okay?”

Saeran brought his gaze up to meet the stranger’s caring eyes, nearly screaming when he saw them.

“Ah! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you!” The stranger apologized quickly and helped pull Saeran to his feet. “I was just sitting over there and I heard you crying and saw you wore the same uniform I did so I thought it’d be okay to come over.”

“I-i-it’s okay. It’s more than okay. It’s uh,” Saeran stopped trying to speak and stared at the man for a moment.

“Well, I’m glad then.” The stranger extended a hand out to Saeran. “I’m Yoosung. Yoosung Kim. I can’t believe we go to the same school and we’ve never even met.”

“I’m S-S-Saeran Choi.” Saeran shook Yoosung’s hand, the warmth of his grip enough to ease every painful thought Saeran was having and would ever have.

“You don’t seem too well.” Yoosung leaned over to look at Saeran’s face better. “Do you need help walking to wherever you were headed?”

“I’m fine. Better than ever.” Saeran smiled slightly.

“Good! If you’re sure you’re okay, I’m gonna keep heading home!” Yoosung smiled back and began to run off.

“Ah, wait!” Saeran shouted suddenly. He grabbed his backpack from off the ground and caught up to Yoosung. “Which, uh direction do you live in?”

Yoosung pointed directly in front of them. “It’s the street directly in front of the river.”

“Want to walk together then? I, uhm, I live on that street too.” Saeran asked.

“Yes, of course!” Yoosung answered enthusiastically and began walking again.

 

* * *

 

The two walked in silence, save for Yoosung asking Saeran more random questions here and there, until they reached the train tracks crossing.

“Hey, Saeran.” Yoosung called out behind him as he began to cross.

Saeran brought his attention up just in time to see a train come out of nowhere, crashing into Yoosung once again. Saeran watched in silent horror as he walked the body of his life long best friend lay lifeless in front of him once more. The tracks, the surrounding sidewalk, Saeran himself, it was all covered in Yoosung’s blood once more. Saeran couldn’t breathe, blink, move. He was stuck, motionless and useless, once again. He watched, frozen, as Yoosung bled out into the dirt in between the tracks, his dead eyes frozen on Saeran.

“Saeran!” Yoosung shouted from across the tracks. “Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

Saeran rubbed his eyes and stared at Yoosung standing there. “I, yeah. I’m fine.” Saeran crossed the tracks to meet him again, his eyes never leaving Yoosung.

“You just stood there in a daze for like… 10 minutes before you finally looked up. Between that and your crying in the park, you’re okay, right?” Yoosung asked sincerely. “I know we don’t know each other so I hope it’s not weird to ask!”

“I’m fine. Talking to you is perfect.” Saeran kept his eyes on Yoosung for a moment before realizing just _what_ he had said. “I-I mean! Talking to someone, anyone! It’s, uh, nice.”

“I’m glad I can help then.” Yoosung grinned brightly at Saeran. “Oh! That’s my house there. I’ll see you tomorrow then!”

“I’m just next door to you then, I guess.” Saeran laughed sheepishly. Yoosung gasped quietly.

“I’ll see you in the morning then! Maybe we can walk together again!” Yoosung shouted as he ran inside his own house. Saeran watched him until he couldn’t see him anymore and then went inside to his own room.

Saeran locked his door behind him and sat against it, hugging his legs close to his chest and crying, tears of happiness this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY THREE THINGS
> 
> 1) if it wasnt obvious the scene of yoosung dying again was just a hallucination   
> 2) sorry this is SUCH A SHORT UPDATE i say that every time but i can never manage to write longer im Sorry  
> 3) I ALSO WROTE THIS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE BC I WAS SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT SAERAN IS GETTING A ROUTE IN JANUARY THAT I JUST. I CANT PUT INTO WORDS HOW EXCITE DI AM IM REALLY GONNA CRY MY EYES OUT


	4. Chapter 4

_ “You’re so loud.” Saeran sighed, covering his head with a pillow. _

_ “It’s Saturday. I have the right to be loud.” Yoosung teased. “Plus, you came to  _ **_my_ ** _ house!” _

_ “Only because Saeyoung was being too loud. Now you’re hurting my head too. I should just run away to the middle of nowhere.” Saeran sighed dramatically. Yoosung sat up and pulled the pillow off of Saeran, throwing it to the other side of his room. _

_ “Not allowed!” Yoosung put his arms into an x pose. “As long as we’re friends, you’re not allowed to go anywhere!” _

_ “You know I was joking.” Saeran laughed slightly. _

_ “Still! If you go anywhere else, I’ll just follow you.” Yoosung leaned forward over him, glaring at Saeran seriously. _

_ “You say such embarrassing things so easily…” Saeran turned away and lazily covered his face with his hand. _

_ “It’s not embarrassing if it’s true.” Yoosung moved closer, making their faces just an inch apart. He grabbed Saeran’s face in his hands, squishing his cheeks together. “Say you won’t.” _

_ “Yoosung. I was just joking.” Saeran stared at Yoosung’s serious eyes, his face as red as his hair. _

_ “Say it.” Yoosung demanded. _

_ “Ok, geez. I promise I won’t leave to go anywhere.” Saeran sighed. Yoosung shook his head no and stared at Saeran again. “I promise I won’t leave to go anywhere  _ **_without you._ ** _ ” _

_ “Good.” Yoosung smiled at him and sat back. _

_ “God, why are you like this?”  Saeran covered his face and peeked at Yoosung through his fingertips. _

_ “Even if it’s just a joke, I won’t lose my only friend!” Yoosung moved Saeran’s hands from off of his face and smiled at him. _

 

"Saeran!” Saeyoung shouted from the other side of Saeran’s door, throwing it open without waiting for a response. “You’re going to be la-... Why are you crying?”

Saeran brought a hand up to eyes, not even realizing he had been crying.

“It’s nothing.” Saeran wiped his eyes and hung his feet over the edge of his bed.

“What is it?” Saeyoung asked, sitting next to Saeran. He looked at his brother with worry and engulfed him in a hug.

“I said it’s nothing.” Saeran mumbled into Saeyoung’s shoulder.

“If it was nothing you would have pushed me off already.” Saeyoung laughed slightly and rubbed the back of Saeran’s head.

“It’s no use in explaining it.” Saeran began crying again. “Can we just sit like this for a bit? I don’t… feel like going till lunch today.”

“Of course, of course. I’m always here for you. You know that.”

 

* * *

 

Saeran ran through the crowded cafeteria, snatching an empty seat next to Yoosung. Yoosung sat facing his other friends, Yejun and Jiho, speaking loud nonsense about some game they were all obsessed with. Saeran gently tapped his shoulder, gaining Yoosung’s attention.

“Saeran!” Yoosung shouted.

“I hope it’s alright if I, uh, sat with you guys.” Saeran asked nervously. Yejun and Jiho nodded immediately, just acknowledging Saeran’s existence, and going back to talking on their own.

“Of course it is!” Yoosung beamed. “I still can’t believe we’ve lived next door and never seen each other!”

“Yeah…” Saeran trailed off.

“But now that we know each other, we can see each other a lot more! Oh! Also, I wanted to ask…” Yoosung suddenly lowered his voice to a whisper. He leaned forward to speak directly into Saeran’s ear, causing all the blood in Saeran’s body to rush to his face. “What were you so upset about yesterday?”

“Oh, that’s just… A really close friend moved pretty far away recently and I guess I couldn’t contain myself anymore.” Saeran answered, smiling weakly. Yoosung sat back down in his seat, looking at Saeran sadly and grabbing his hands with his own.

“I’m sorry! I think I know what you’re feeling. I’ve been feeling like I’ve lost someone but nobody I know is gone. Maybe we met yesterday, like… like… fate! To replace that empty friendship spot for each other.” Yoosung smiled, but his smile quickly faded as he got more and more embarrassed. He let go of Saeran’s hands immediately and shouted, again, “Sorry! Sorry! I have a bad habit of saying everything I think without thinking about it. But, you’re pretty easy to talk to. I feel like I’ve known forever, even though we only met yesterday.”

Saeran sat silent, simply staring at Yoosung, unable to register what he had just said. He had been through this before with Yoosung, the whole building up the friendship thing. He had been through falling for Yoosung before. He knew what he was like, but hearing him say small things he used to tell Saeran daily, was enough to bring Saeran to tears.

When they first met, Yoosung simply attached himself to Saeran. As a child, Saeran couldn’t care less about the obnoxiously loud blonde who could never seem to leave him alone. He didn’t have the energy to fight him off so he simply let Yoosung follow him around and talk his ear off day in and day out. But as they grew up, Saeran started to look forward to seeing him. By accident one day in middle school, Saeran had slept in and Yoosung took it upon himself to wake him up for the street outside their houses. After that, whether he had actually slept in or not, he waited for Yoosung to come wake him up.

Neither of them really had anyone else. Yoosung was popular due to his personality and how he simply connected with everyone, but no close friends besides Saeran. All Saeran had had since the end of middle school was Saeyoung due to an accident involving Saeran and their mother. Saeyoung took it upon himself to drop out early, allowing Saeran to be the one to finish school while he made money in various ways to help them.

Yoosung was all Saeran had, all Saeran loved. And now, due to his inability to just wake up, he had to rebuild it all.

“Saeran.” Yoosung called out, bringing Saeran’s attention back to here and now. “You’re doing it again.”

“I, uh, sorry.” Saeran apologized. “Wait where is everyone?” He looked around Yoosung at the empty cafeteria.

“That’s why I was calling your name. I was talking and you just like froze and then the bell rang and you just kept sitting there like that. You sure you’re okay?” Yoosung asked softly.

“Fine. You don’t have to worry about me.” Saeran sighed, picking his backpack and uneaten lunch up off of the table. He threw the trash away and made a beeline for the doors.

“We’re friends, aren’t we?” Yoosung asked, running up behind Saeran as they walked through the hall. “I-I mean! We have only known each other a day but I feel like we really will be close friends.”

“Yeah, I feel like that too.” Saeran stared at the ground as they walked. He was sure he was physically unable to face Yoosung directly at this point. “Aren’t you going to be late?”

“What about you?” Yoosung turned the question onto Saeran.

“I only came for lunch. I’m just skipping the rest of today.” Saeran took a deep breath and turned to grin at Yoosung.

“Then I will too!” Yoosung huffed.

“Why exactly?”

“If I don’t, you’ll be all alone. You keep spacing out so I’ll keep you company in case it happens again!” Yoosung replied, with that look in his eye Saeran always used to describe to him as ‘a very angry, very determined, puppy’.

“Fine. Whatever floats your boat.” Saeran waved at him to keep following him.

 

* * *

 

“I can’t believe it’s already 10.” Saeran yawned loudly as he and Yoosung continued the walk back to their homes.

“How long did we spend there?” Yoosung asked.

“10 hours. But it’s your fault. I knew you liked video games but who knew you were so addicted to arcade games too?” Saeran teased.

“It’s not only my fault! You played as much as I-“ Yoosung was cut off by a redhead in glasses shouting at him and Saeran.

“You moron! Do you know how late it is?” Saeyoung shouted at Saeran from the sidewalk in front of their house. Yoosung, frozen in fear, stared at the man as Saeran kept walking towards him.

“Eat shit, Saeyoung.” Saeran flicked him in the forehead as he walked past Saeyoung. Saeyoung glared him but quickly turned his focus to the very frightened Yoosung.

“Now who might this be! A friend? My dear brother  _ actually  _ has friends?” Saeyoung grinned at Saeran, who’s whole head was red from blush.

“I-I’m Yoosung.” He stuttered.

“Leave him alone. Stop being annoying.” Saeran grabbed Saeyoung by the collar and pulled him inside, shutting the door behind him and going back out to meet Yoosung.”That’s my brother. Sorry about him.”

“Don’t worry about it!” Yoosung stuttered out quickly and awkwardly.

“Do yo-“

“I was won-“

Yoosung and Saeran began speaking at the same time, both immediately going silent again.

“You first.” Saeran finally spoke up.

“Do you wanna hang out again tomorrow? Today was really fun!” Yoosung smiled brightly at Saeran.

“Yeah. Yeah, that'd be nice.” Saeran smiled back gently.

“Perfect! Ah, one second.” Yoosung set his backpack down and began digging through it quickly, eventually pulling out his phone. “Your number. That way I can talk to you whenever!”

Saeran took the phone nervously and input his number, his hands shaking as he gave it back to Yoosung.  _ You’ve done this before. Calm down. Fucking calm down. _

“I’ll call you so you can save mine too!” Yoosung threw his phone back into his bag and ran over to his house before Saeran had time to say anything else at all.

“Is that your new boooyfrieeeend~?” Saeyoung teased, poking Saeran in the back as Saeran pushed past him to go upstairs.

“Shut the fuck up.” Saeran sighed.

“You didn’t deny it!” Saeyoung shouted. “Ahhhh, how nice it must be to fall in love before even getting his phone number!”

“Shut up!” Saeran spun around to glare at Saeyoung, tears welling up in his eyes. “Shut up. Please.”

“I… Saeran, I’m sorry. I was just joking.” Saeyoung’s voice dropped low. He reached out to lay a hand on his shoulder but Saeran slapped it away.

“Please just… stop talking about him for now.” Saeran walked upstairs quickly, slamming and locking his bedroom door shut behind him.

Soon after, Saeyoung came up, knocking quietly.

“Saeran. I really was just joking. I didn’t mean to make you mad.” Saeyoung apologized through the door. “And even though it was a joke, I don’t care if he actually was. I don’t care if you’re gay or anything like that. You know I’m with you through whatever, right?”

He listened to soft sobbing coming from Saeran, mentally beating himself up for thinking he was the cause of it.

Saeran quietly got up and opened the door, leaning into Saeyoung and pressing his head to his chest.

“Thank you, but that’s not it. I can’t explain this. It’s so frustrating.” Saeran continued crying softly as Saeyoung pulled him into a hug. “It’s so fucking frustrating.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> three things:
> 
> 1) my ocs yejun and jiho make a return! i would die for them i gave them designs if anyone's interested please just like @ me or dm on twitter/tumblr
> 
> 2) PLEASE BE MY FRIEND SO I HAVE MORE PPL TO TALK TO YOORAN ABT im kekkaisensn on twitter and ssaeranchoi on tumblr
> 
> 3) this was really written as a vent/distraction so its kinda .... i apologize


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which saeran has a terrible decision to make

“It’s been a while, Saeran.” A familiar voice called out to him from across the pitch black room. “A whole month in fact.”

“Why did you bring me back here, Masuta?” Saeran sighed. The demonic woman glared at him as she swiftly made her way over to his side.

“To check on things. See how you are, see how your dear friend is.” Masuta smiled sweetly as she circled around Saeran.

“Is that really all?”

“Of course not.” She snapped. “I hope you remember what I said the last time. That I’d hold off your end of the deal  _ for now.  _ I have new information for you I’m sure you’re oh so happy to hear.”

Masuta waved a hand and forced Saeran to sit on the ground as she kneeled down in front of him. “There are, of course, more conditions that weren’t relevant before. But as you and your friend have begun to grow close again, I have to warn you of a few things.”

Her fingers were long and talon like as she began to count with them. “One. You must not do so much as  _ hint  _ that he died before. Regardless of whether he believes you or not if you were to tell him, he will die again and that time, nobody will remember him, Not you, not his classmates, family. All traces of him will disappear and it will be as if he never existed in the first place.”

“Two. There is of course more on your end of the deal than simply remembering his terribly gruesome death and him forgetting you. I need something in return: another life. It can not be a stranger. Regardless of if it’s someone you care about or not, it must be a family member. Fun, right?” Masuta leaned forward and tangled her long fingers in Saeran’s hair, yanking his head back to look up at her. “But poor Saeran. All you have is Saeyoung. A wonderful choice to make! The love of your life you went through so much trouble to bring back or your only remaining family, the dear brother who gave up his chance of having a real life so that you could be the one to succeed.”

Saeran felt both his heart stop and it pounding so hard it was all he could hear. Lose a limb? Fall ill to some deadly disease? Give up his soul? Those were all things Saeran was prepared to do to save Yoosung. But losing his brother? Saeran would rather give up his own life and let those two live happily together.

“Why didn’t you say that in the beginning?” Saeran asked through gritted teeth.

“Weren’t you the one who said you would do  _ anything  _ to bring him back?” Masuta stared at Saeran as he began to break down crying.

“I… didn’t think you would want to take my only family from me.” Saeran fell to the ground as he began to sob. “I can’t lose Saeyoung too.”

“It seems you have a lot to think about. I’m giving you a week.” Masuta declared and waved her hand, causing the room to fade away and Saeran return to consciousness. Saeran laid still, staring at the ceiling, unable to bring himself to get up.  _ I’m giving you a week.  _ Saeran covered his eyes with his arm as he began to cry again.

“Saeran! Yoosung’s here!” Saeyoung shouted from downstairs. He gave Yoosung a sheepish grin and excused himself to get Saeran after receiving no reply from his brother. He knocked on Saeran’s door softly, entering once he got a groan in response. “Listen, I know being late is your thing but at some point you gotta-“

Saeran looked up weakly at Saeyoung, his eyes bloodshot and puffy as tears soaked his face. “I don’t think I can make it today.”

Saeyoung sighed sadly and went back downstairs to send Yoosung off. “Sorry, you’ll be making the trip by yourself today. Saeran’s got a terrible cough.”

“Oh. Can I… drop by later? After school? I can bring medicine or something.” Yoosung pouted.

“I’m sure he’d love that.” Saeyoung smiled.

“Perfect! I’ll see you guys later then!” Yoosung skipped down the path from the Choi’s front door to the street, stopping to turn around and shout towards Saeran’s window. “Feel better! I’ll be by after school!”

Saeyoung watched Yoosung run down the street before shutting the door and marching up to Saeran’s room again.

“Get dressed.” Saeyoung dug through Saeran’s closest and threw clothes at him. Saeran began to refuse but Saeyoung cut him off by throwing a jacket over his head. “I don’t know what’s been with you lately, but sometimes getting out of the house and distracting yourself is the best remedy. So, get dressed and no complaining.”

Saeran groaned as he began to change out of the clothes he had slept in and met Saeyoung downstairs.

* * *

 

“Why are we here?” Saeran scanned the cafe Saeyoung brought him to, making note of the empty tables farthest away from the other customers.

“You needed out of the house and this place isn’t usually busy at this time.” Saeyoung grinned and tugged Saeran to the counter to order. “What do you want?” He whispered.

“Strawberry milkshake.” Saeran mumbled after glancing at only the dessert menu.

“Food.” Saeyoung told him.

“Whatever the fuck you get then.”

Saeyoung ordered for them and Saeran bolted for a table in the far right corner, the closest person at least six tables away.

“So, what happened?” Saeyoung asked, setting down their trays and sitting across from him.

“Huh?” Saeran groaned.

“You know what I mean. You’ve literally cried like every morning since you met Yoosung.” Saeyoung said.

“He just… reminds me of someone I used to know. It was hard to get used to.” Saeran grabbed the milkshake Saeyoung ended up buying for him anyways.

“Who? Not to be a jerk but I’ve literally been your only friend for years.” Saeyoung teased.

“I-I guess that’s true. It’s just hard to explain.” Saeran sighed and a silence fell over them as Saeyoung searched for another way to approach the topic at hand. Saeran watched the small cafe they were in slowly begin to fill with more and more people, nearly every table being occupied at this point. He shot a glare at Saeyoung who immediately caught on and began to clear their table while Saeran rushed outside to get away from the crowd. Soon Saeyoung joined back up with him.

“Let’s walk back home.” Saeyoung slung an arm over Saeran’s shoulder and dragged him along.

“But  _ your car. _ ” Saeran groaned.

“I’ll walk back and get it later. We’re walking and you’re gonna talk, got it?” Saeyoung shot Saeran a smile that scared Saeran slightly.

“Like I said, it’s hard to explain. I’m not even sure if I can tell you.”

Saeyoung stopped walking and stared at Saeran, his eyes full of worry. “Is… is someone threatening you?”

“ **_No_ ** . It’s nothing like that so don’t worry about it.”

“Okay… As long as you’re not in any danger that’s good. But I’m still worried. You know you can always talk to m-“

“Listen. I have something pretty major to think about and I don’t need you being nice to me and making it even harder for me to make up my mind. Go back and get your car.” Saeyoung stood in place motionless, and slightly heartbroken, if he was being honest. He watched Saeran as he continued walking, obviously beginning to cry as he left since Saeyoung could see his heavy breaths and shoulders shaking.

“I just don’t want to lose him again.” Saeyoung mumbled to himself as he began going back for his car.

* * *

 

“Why are you here?” Saeran complained, his path to his front door being blocked by Yoosung.

“I thought you were sick.” Yoosung sighed sadly. Saeran eyed the grocery bag next to Yoosung, his heart catching in his throat as Yoosung shifted awkwardly to hide it from Saeran.

“I need inside.” Saeran moved to step around Yoosung, but Yoosung stood up and blocked him again.

“Are you okay?”

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?  _ I’m fine _ .” Saeran tried to go around him once more but Yoosung continued to block him. “I need in inside.”

“I’m just concerned.” Yoosung looked at him sadly.

“Well don’t be! I need to make a really big, terrible decision and I’m tired of everybody being nice to me. Now let me into my own house, Yoosung.”

“I know we’ve only been friends for a month now but I worry about you like we’ve known each other forever. You’ve been weird for a few days and every time I see you you look worse and worse.” Yoosung told Saeran in the most stern voice he had ever heard from him.

“Stop saying that. Please. I just need to go inside.” Saeran choked back tears.

“I’m just worried about you.”

If there was one thing Yoosung was, it was persistent. He never gave up on anything once he set his mind to it, whether it was a simple conversation like this or anything else. Saeran usually loved that about him, but this was one time he hated it. He just wanted Yoosung to leave him alone so he didn’t feel as guilty as the question weighing down on him.

“I don’t want to see you or anyone right now.” Saeran pushed Yoosung out of his way.

“Hey!” Yoosung reached out and grabbed Saeran by the arm. “You can’t just insist that we become friends and when you obviously need help with something, just get mad at me. I really mean it when I say I feel like we’re really close so I  _ want  _ to help.”

“Stop saying that!” Saeran pulled himself out of Yoosung’s grip and began to fumble with his keys.

“Stop saying what?”

“That we’re close. That you worry about me. _That you feel like we’ve known each other for ages._ I can’t stand to hear it.” Saeran’s voice grew more and more shaky and he dropped his keys. He cursed to himself quietly as he bent over to pick them up.

“Do you… do you not like being friends with me anymore?” Yoosung’s voice cracked. Saeran turned around, a pit forming in his stomach as he watched Yoosung begin to tear up.

“That’s not it. Not it at all. I just need to be alone while I figure this out.” Saeran finally unlocked his door and rushed inside, leaving Yoosung alone on the porch as he heard Saeyoung’s car approach.

Saeyoung left his car in the driveway and walked across the yard to where Yoosung was sitting on the porch. Yoosung quickly scribbled his number onto a notecard from his backpack and handed it to Saeyoung along with the bag of medicine and snacks he had originally intended to give to Saeran.

“I, uh,” Yoosung wiped his eyes and cleared his throat. “Can you give this to him for me? The bag, I mean. And uh, tell me once he’s feeling... better.”

Saeran watched from his bedroom window as Yoosung ran to the street and over to his own house. He fell back against his bed and began to cry again.

“This is becoming a terrible habit of mine.” Saeran choked out and wiped his tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow i finally updated! two fics updated in one day its like im finally becoming a productive person
> 
> but Anyways isnt this chapter Fun if i continue at the pace im going at and stick to my outline this chapter is the halfway point! im hoping to write 10 maybe 11 chapters but this is me so who knows
> 
> that aside, i really appreciate the comments and subscriptions on this it means a lot that people like this !!
> 
> also please please Please feel free to talk to me on tumblr (ssaeranchoi) or twitter (cinnadias) about yooran or just anything in general ♡


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which saeran has a secret to tell

Saeran wasn’t sure how to contact Masuta on his own. He tried the ritual again but it didn’t work so he assumed that after the first contact, she was the one to contact _you_. But he needed to talk to her before his one week deadline hit. He racked his brain, attempting to come up with some solution as to how to see her. He came to the conclusion that simply attempting to dream about her might be his only option. And turns out he’s a lot smarter than he gives himself credit for.

“What sort of matter is so urgent you felt the need to contact me yourself?” Masuta hissed.

“You mentioned that I can’t tell _Yoosung_ what happened to him, but can I tell anyone else?” Saeran asked her. She looked at him, her interest in him being piqued once more.

“You truly are an interesting one.” She smiled sweetly, too sweetly, Saeran thought. “I will allow you to tell one person. I am curious to see what happens. But the rule about him disappearing if he hears the truth will remain intact. If the person you tell tells him, Yoosung will vanish from your memories before you have a chance to stop it. Is that a risk you are willing to take?”

“He won’t tell him. I’m… sure of it.” Saeran thought for a moment then nodded to himself.

“Very well then. Remember, _one_ person.” Masuta waved a hand and Saeran woke up, his eyes being assaulted by the blinding light coming in through the window. He was so… out of it the day before he had forgotten to close the curtains.

Saeran leaned over and grabbed his phone to check the time. _10:37._ Good, Saeyoung hasn’t left for work yet. Saeran jumped out of bed and ran downstairs to the kitchen, nearly giving Saeyoung, who was cooking breakfast, a heart attack.

“Oh! Who must you be? The Saeran I know would never get out of bed unless I forced him to!” Saeyoung covered his mouth with the spatula he was holding as he gasped loudly.

“Shut up. And hurry. I’m starving and I… need to tell you something.” Saeran sat down awkwardly at their kitchen table.

“Oh my, are you finally opening up to me? It must be a miracle from heaven above!” Saeyoung went back to cooking after Saeran threw a pen from the table at him.

Eventually, he finished cooking their breakfast and sat down eagerly across from his brother.

“So, uh… Don’t think I’m crazy, please. I _swear_ what I’m about to tell you is entirely true.” Saeran stared at Saeyoung with worried eyes, half scared his brother might think he’s finally lost it and send him off to some hospital to have brain picked apart and examined.

Saeyoung took a bite of the omelet he’d made and Saeran continued. “I’ve known Yoosung since elementary school. He’s always lived next door to us. He was… the only friend I’ve ever had.” Saeran began to tear up. “He was over here all the time and even you two became friends. And I was stupid and in my first year of high school so it made me jealous and I began to insist we only go to his house. We went everywhere together. He basically refused to do anything if I wasn’t with him. He was… truly the best friend anyone could have. He was wonderful and kind, even to someone like me, and just… he was perfect.” By this point, Saeran was _crying_. “About a month ago, we had made plans to go to the beach. He had only been once and I had never been in, so he insisted on taking me. It was a plan we made as children that he had never forgotten and neither had I. And, just a few days before that, I had slept in. Yoosung came over to wake me up and waited for me, making us both late. And… and we got stopped at the train tracks.”

Saeran began to sob and Saeyoung reached across the table and grabbed his hands. A small gesture but it was one Saeyoung knew was the easiest way to calm Saeran down, ever since they were kids.

Saeran cleared his throat and continued. “And… and the, the bars lifted up too early. I was an idiot, I didn’t check before crossing. And it all happened so fast. Saeyoung, it was _awful_ . I began to cross and all I could hear was Yoosung shouting my name as he reached out to push me out of the way and… and…” Saeran had failed in attempting to hold back this breakdown. Yoosung’s death was the _worst_ thing to ever happen to him. Simply thinking about it was enough to send him over the edge, so recollecting it outloud was taking a large toll. “He, he was hit by the train. He lost an arm and I think legs. I can’t remember. It was horrific. T-t-there was blood everywhere and I couldn’t do anything and the stupid paramedics took him away from me and he died in a hospital room completely alone because they couldn’t contact his family and I didn’t know where they had taken him and I-” Saeran stopped and sighed heavily after he rambled off an entire sentence in one breath.

“I was desperate for him to come back. I was willing to do _anything_ to see him again, even if it was just for one more day. And I… I made a deal with a demon. She told me she could bring Yoosung back, but any of memories related to me would disappear. I obviously agreed. I’d simply rebuild the friendship from the ground up and it was working, it was going fine until… until yesterday. She spoke to me again, about _my_ end of the deal. She’s the commander of the dead or whatever and told me in exchange for bringing Yoosung back, I needed to pick someone else to die in his place. A-and she told me it _has_ to be a family member and that I only have a week to decide if I want Yoosung to die again or if I want _you_ to die instead. And it’s killing me. How am I supposed to make a decision like that?!” Saeran shouted and slammed his fists on the table.

Saeyoung stayed silent for a moment, obviously thinking hard about something.

“I want you to choose me.” Saeyoung finally spoke up.

“Huh?” Saeran stared at him with bloodshot eyes on the verge of crying again.

“I said, I want you to choose _me_ to die this time. You don’t need me and, judging by your story and the way I see you are around him when he’s here, you need _him_.”

“Saeyoung I-I-I can’t do that! I can’t _kill_ you! I can’t lose you when you’re the only family I have left!” Saeran stood up quickly, knocking his chair to the floor behind him. He towered over Saeyoung and looked down at him, as he began to cry but could only barely. He’s spent so much of his time crying lately, he’s surely dehydrated by this point.

“I mean it. I don’t want to have to watch you go through the pain of losing Yoosung a second time. So go back and tell Masuta that you want _me_ to die.” Saeran stood frozen at Saeyoung’s words, the first time he had been silent all day. He moved back from the table, still standing, as he was too shocked to bend over and pick up his chair.

“Saeyoung.” Saeran’s voice was a different kind of shaky this time. It wasn’t full of hurt, but full of fear. “I never told you what the demon’s name was.”

This time it was Saeyoung who was frozen, shocked and cursing at himself for his slip-up. “I like to read up on legends of different gods and demons.”

“Don’t lie to me. How did you know what her name was?” Saeyoung stayed silent this time so Saeran continued. “Have you… used her before?”

Saeran began to think hard, as if he was mentally going through files upon files upon files of who Saeyoung could have _possibly_ gone through so much trouble to bring back.

And then it finally hits him. It’s a thought so terrible he’s almost afraid to say it outloud.

“You told me the accident that had happened involving mother and I at the end of middle school had left me with amnesia. The doctors seemed to agree so I never brought it up. But the only person I lost my memory of was _you_.” Saeran spoke slowly as his whole body trembled with fear at the indirect accusation he had just made.

Before either had a chance to say anything else, reality for the both the Choi twins faded to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have the entire rest of the fic already done!! im not sure if i should go ahead and post it all tonight or wait i'll leave that up to yall
> 
> also im kind of a moron and due to some personal problems i deleted my tumblr and so of course i lost all my following so. if u had talked me on there before im sorry but i remade and its the same username (ssaeranchoi) please feel free to talk to me again


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which saeran learns the truth

_ “Saeran! You’re ok!” Yoosung ran towards Saeran and jumped onto him, knocking the weaker boy over onto the grass. _

_ “I’ve been in the hospital for a month. Can you calm down?” Despite Saeran’s harsh tone, he returned the hug Yoosung was engulfing him in. _

_ “I missed you! Lots and lots and lots! They wouldn’t even let me come see you because I wasn’t family, but I promise I tried to!” Yoosung shouted excitedly. _

_ “Can we go inside? Your room? I… I’ve missed your room.” Saeran blamed the blood rushing to his cheeks on Yoosung squeezing his chest so tight, even if that barely made any sense. _

_ “Yes! Of course, come on!” Yoosung hopped to his feet and stretched a hand out to help Saeran up slowly. Saeran waved to Saeyoung as he walked over to Yoosung’s house. _

_ Finally in Yoosung’s room, Saeran made himself at home on his bed, stretching to take up the whole thing as he held Yoosung’s pillow close under his head. _

_ “Hospital beds aren’t as comfortable as yours is.” Saeran sighed. _

_ “So uh, I hope it’s not too soon to ask but… what happened to you?” Yoosung sat on the floor and watched Saeran as he laid in his bed, a sight he missed seeing. _

_ “I was told a car accident but I don’t remember it myself. They say I’ve got amnesia which… doesn’t make sense since the only memories I’ve lost are of Saeyoung.” Saeran sighed. _

_ “Maybe it’s that selective amnesia thing! I saw that in a movie once!” Yoosung continued to shout. He couldn’t help himself honestly. He hadn’t seen Saeran for over a month as he went through his initial recovery and physical therapy. His excitement level was on overdrive and he didn’t care the slightest bit to try and tone it down. _

_ “Maybe.” Saeran closed his eyes and held Yoosung’s pillow close. Yoosung watched him with soft eyes, obvious blush spreading across both of their faces. _

_ They sat in a comfortable silence for a while until Saeran finally broke it. _

_ “I did miss you too.” Saeran told Yoosung quietly, almost in a whisper. Yoosung smiled gently and moved closer to his bed, watching Saeran till he knew he was asleep, and leaned up and kissed his forehead. _

_ “Welcome home, Saeran.” _

 

* * *

 

 

Saeran regained consciousness and found himself in a black room he knew all too well. He scanned the room, waiting for Masuta to appear, but instead he saw Saeyoung no more than two feet away from him.

“What the hell did you do!” Saeran shouted and lunged towards Saeyoung, being stopped by an invisible wall of sorts.

“Now, now. Children, children.” Masuta appeared. “The Choi family is so interesting. Saeran, your dear brother Saeyoung has made your decision so much easier for you. You will no longer have to decide between him and Yoosung as you will be the one to die. I wonder how it’ll go  _ this time. _ ”

“Did I… really die back then?” Saeran kept his eyes on the ground, not actually sure himself if he wanted to hear the truth.

“Y-you did.” Saeyoung began to cry.

“Now that’s no fun. Share the whole heartbreaking story! Or would you rather he hear from a demon?” Masuta hissed at Saeyoung.

“Our mother… killed you. She had come back, completely wasted and pissed that you were in the kitchen. You had tr… tried to get back upstairs but she grabbed the pan off the stove and hi-hit you over the head.” Saeyoung hunched over and began to sob. “I think it had only originally knocked you out but then you hit your head on the counter or table or something, I don’t know. I just, I didn’t hear it happen and when I came downstairs you had bled out and she just left you and she had some guy just come and  _ dump  _ you somewhere. It was horrific, monstrous. I… it took me  _ weeks  _ to find out about her.” Saeyoung raised a shaky hand and pointed to Masuta. “I gave in instantly. I didn’t care what I had to do, I couldn’t live in a house like that without you. I had her take mother in your place.”

Saeran felt like all the blood in his body was ice cold. He couldn’t breathe and he got dizzy just from listening to Saeyoung’s story. He couldn’t even gather the strength to cry. “Why did they think it was a car accident? Why don’t I remember her being that way?”

“You should know by now just how powerful my ability to change events and memories is.” Masuta spoke up.

“I told her if I was going to bring you back, I didn’t want you to remember having a childhood like that. I wanted you to finally live happily.” Saeyoung’s voice was hoarse as he sobbed.

“So what happens to me now?” Saeran shouted at Masuta.

“ **I already told you** . Do you never listen?  _ You  _ will be the one to die, again. This time it will take longer. Lots of work to do you know? Paperwork, filing, going through human resources, etc.” Masuta chuckled and turned to point to Saeyoung. “Please remember dear, he is dying again because  _ you  _ slipped up and he figured out the truth.” She waved her hand and Saeyoung began to disappear from the room. He scrambled to reach out to Saeran one last time, mere centimeters away before he was gone.

“What can I do to go back? What can I give up? I’ll give you anything.” Saeran began to cry.

“I can give you your original choice back. Saeyoung or Yoosung?”

“I can’t pick between them! An-anyone but them! Take my father, whoever he is. I’m sure I’ve got an aunt or uncle somewhere. Maybe cousins. Take them all, I don’t care.” Saeran ran his hands through his hair and pulled at.

“You’re willing to kill people you’ve never even meant so  _ you  _ can go back home? My, my, Saeran. It seems speaking with a demon has worn off on you.” Masuta hummed.

“They don't matter to me. I just want Yoosung and I can’t live without Saeyoung.”

“I’ve been here forever, making deals forever. Even after all this time, human emotions are something I fail to understand completely. You lot are selfish beyond expectation but would still give your life in a heartbeat if it meant saving those you love. You are all truly interesting.” She began to laugh wildly. “Saeyoung is your brother, the only family you have left, yes? What is Yoosung to you?”

“My neighbor. My best friend since childhood.” Saeran answered quietly.

“You expect me to believe a half-assed answer such as that? Tell me the truth! The heartbreaking truth you keep locked away in the back of your head and hope to forget!”

“I fell in love with him. I don’t know exactly when but I did. I love him… I love him so much but all I’ll ever be is his best friend.” Saeran choked out as the tears began to flow again.

“Wonderful! Such raw human emotion is a sight I love to see.” Masuta moved to stand behind Saeran, running long, talon like fingers across his cheeks. “I crave to see what you will be like in your last moments.”

“Will I just be… stuck here then? Until I’m set to d-d-die?” Saeran managed to stutter out.

“Yes. Except, since your brother screwed up, I have work to do so you will be alone. I’ll be kind enough to allow you to watch your brother and Yoosung until the time comes though.” Masuta did her signature wave and disappeared, leaving behind a fog of smoke that acted as a screen.

Saeran could see both Saeyoung and Yoosung in their own homes; Saeyoung breaking down at the kitchen table and Yoosung laying down in his room. Yoosung sat on his bed and clutched his pillow as he counted the stars he had stuck to the ceiling above, something he had always done when he was annoyed or mad.

“Stupid Saeran. I just wanted to see him and he yells at me when I try to help. He’s always so stupid like that. It’s only been a month! How did I fall for someone so mean.” Yoosung pouted.

“I’m sorry, Yoosung. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Saeran gripped his hair and screamed out at nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so ik i said i had the whole rest of the fic done but i scraped what i had and am rewriting it so updates will probably be slow again i apologize cjdmcjsb
> 
> but after this, there's only about 3/4 chapters left so! its almost over!! i hope it hasnt been too. weird.
> 
> also please talk to me on tumblr (ssaeranchoi)


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